”I am sure my smile combined is fuelling his arrogance, convincing him I am eagerly looking forward to his visit tonight and no doubt expecting me to happily acquiesce to visiting my Love many more times. I am still smiling as I take the envelope from him. He shows surprise that I push it in my pocket without looking at it. That should have been our conversation over with for now, but his need to demean me causes him to carry on, his conviction of his own superiority feeding a bestial need to rub my nose in the fact that he was going to meet my Wife for sex tonight. A step on his path to shame me and ultimately destroy any self-respect or idea I may have of remaining a man. “So tonight’s the night har har ... Y’know, I never realised how aptly named you are, not only Cook, har har but Isaiah, or should that be Isa Cuck har har har?” With that last har har har, he turns and walks away.His taunting words fail to shake my smile and I nonchalantly shrug my shoulders and carry on with what. It never happened.The rejection made me kind of a psycho as I analysed myself about my faults.I started to do exercise regularly to keep myself fit.Graduating in 2009 I faced the word REALITY.As you all know due to downsizing at that time, it was tough to get a decent job then. The very first job I got was in 2011 with a salary of three thousand rupees per month with a 14 hours job duty in IT sector.I tried to contact her again but my mind was brutally hurt. She was right from her side ,I don’t blame her.I just wanted HER to be my struggle partner ,to boost ourselves and to be with each other forever.But the almighty had a different plan.So I was left alone.While pursuing the degree , I was a master of watching porn just for excitement,never felt the meaning of love through it.One day in the summer of 2011,I came to know about BDSM. First I thought it was bizarre but got attracted slowly.I found myself to be a slave rather than a dom. I wished to be fucked but got a very nasty.
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