But they are not allowed into the shelter of my brain. They must stay outside. Let them huddle under that carport over there. Or at the bus stop. Get lost, you damn thoughts and nightmares.Leave me to the dark little kingdom of my misery.My name doesn't matter. Call me George. Call her Anne. Or call her a slut, if you like. Call me a clown. I don't care.What she did doesn't need much explanation. It happened to a billion men before me. And another billion after me will see it happen to them. Unless the world decides to call it a day and puts an end to our collective misery.You won't need much explanation about what I did, either. It's over. I severed all the ties we had. All of them. The strong ties and the delicate ones. It made the blood flow. The sweet and pulsing blood of the heart.Mine mostly, I guess.I don't know about her. Did she bleed? I can't say. I really don't know a lot about her anymore. Maybe I never did. But I know I shall end up a walking ghost, an anemic. When Paula didher shoot I wound up with my first negligee. Therefore if I did a shootsurely she would get a new negligee? And she had spent her voucher on meso I could spend mine on her."Ok. I'll do the shoot," I said.So later that day I found myself sitting in the passenger seat wearing anegligee under a long Mac on my way to a lingerie shoot and Paula wasdriving me there.It was a complete reversal of the position I was in only about a weekago. All I could think about was my make-up and hoping that the camerawoman would get my best angle. I kept checking my face in the mirror.When we got to the studio Paula spoke with the woman organising the shootand was given an envelope before she left me with her. I learnt duringthe shoot that the camerawoman's name was Diana and that Paula's pictureof me was going to be the shop window picture and I was to become theface of their next campaign."It's time you got used to stardom," Diana said. "It won't be longbefore the men's magazines.
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