Out. This wasn’t how I planned to go about it, but when the moment came, I wasn’t going to be found wanting. If it had to be this way, then so be it. My life was only going to get better by taking drastic steps, and I was pretty sure this was going to be a mercy for him, too, since I’m sure he wasn’t any happier than I was. Who could be?Right then though, I took a deep breath. I was angry; he was hurt, and I had to try to de-escalate the situation.“Look,” I said, in a calmer and steadier voice, “I’m not happy. God knows, I’m not happy. I’m pretty sure you aren’t either. This isn’t working. This is not what I signed up for. I just can’t deal anymore, right? I just can’t. I need out.”I almost sobbed the last, and immediately, Jeff got up to come over to me, missing the entire point of what I was trying to say. He was coming over to hug me, missing the fact that it was him who I was tired of.“No!” I said, holding up my hand to ward him off. “No, just ... sit.”Jeff looked confused and. She balled her hands into fists, thinking of ways on which those men could be found but knew in her heart that it would be simply another incident on the campus police blotter.After lunch she showered, dressed conservatively in jeans, shirt and jacket and put some books in her backpack that needed to be returned to the Admin building and library. She sat in the lounge and waited for Rob to arrive, determined to go straight out to meet him rather than let him inside. He was on time and as she slipped into the passenger seat she allowed him to kiss her cheek, a friend-zone move that she sensed was understood all too well.He offered to drive her to the Library and suggested that they go down to the river afterwards for a walk. Holly agreed, pleased with the plan and the fact that the walk would be out in the open with other walkers, young and old, using the same scenic path. She returned the books and jumped back into the car, still holding her backpack which contained the travel budget.
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