The shower brought me to a more lucid state. I had called Ginny last night before I went to bed. She agreed to meet me for lunch at our favorite little bistro. Thank god for Ginny.I was greeted at the door by Nick, the head waiter."Ms. Maarden is expecting you, Mrs. Carver." He led me to the far corner to a table we knew would be private and quieter."Thank you, Nick. Hello, Ginny. Thank you for coming." I was genuinely relieved to see her. I desperately needed her guidance."You know I wouldn't say no to you, Edie," she smiled.Ginny was so solid, so grounded. We've been friends for ages, over ten years. Howard was wrong. I do have a real friend. Virginia Maarden is the best friend I've ever had. I can tell her anything in confidence. She knows all my secrets. All of them."I had my talk with Howard last night ... or should I say ... he talked and I listened. He didn't want me to say anything. He said he'd give me my chance on Friday. Oh, Ginny, he was so cold, so ... mean. I've never. But ... but you are my mother! How can I have sex with you?"You can rationalize it any way you want to, but I WILL have sex with you. It was certain a few days ago when you entered my mind with the instructions on how to feed you. I have held off because I know how limited your physical abilities are right now. But I can't help it—I am COMPELLED to have sex with you. However, there is no parallel compulsion to have your children, so I will be going back on the pill right away. Susan is already on the pill to help with the pains during her period. How about you, Nancy? Are you protected?" Yes, Mary, I am. I have been taking the pill for several years. So there is not a chance of me getting pregnant. On the other hand, I may want to change that later."Mom ... No, make that Mary laughed and said, "I'll bet you will be off the pill as soon as Billy graduates from college, if not sooner. I'm glad to hear that everybody is with the program. I know that there will be a lot of fucking going.
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