After the discovery of a particularly bad infestation, my apartment building had been temporarily condemned until it could be cleared of any unwanted pests.I pushed the door of his apartment open, after unlocking it with the spare key I had, and made my way in, setting my duffel bag beside the couch. Plopping myself down on the sofa, I kicked my feet up on the coffee table and let my head fall back. It had been a long day, and my body was weary from having to deal with the bustle of the dozens of other residents leaving the building, all grumbling about finding places to stay. It had been easier for me, knowing I had a place I could go, but it was still somewhat stressful and the couch felt comfortable as I leaned back, realaxing.My eyes had been closed for about five minutes when I heard a gasp from behind me. I sat up, starting to turn as I spoke. "Oh, hey man, my apartment's been temporarily closed, so I needed a place to sta..."I stopped short when I finished turning, my. I am almost hoping that you have moved on. It would spare me some difficult decisions ahead, but I also fear this possibility. I am at once terrified of being with you and of losing you. Crazy? I already stated that I'm a loon, right?I am also afraid that by allowing you near me, I will set you up for more hurt in the future. I don't want to hurt you! Mom keeps telling me that I'll hurt you the most by not allowing you near me. I want to believe that, but then the memories come back, and I cannot see myself as ever being able to be what you expect of a girlfriend.The therapist also showed me the brilliant pieces of investigative journalism in the Rumor Mill. They really did a number on me with that photograph. I hear the guy who took the picture is in prison now for possession of child pornography, and I'm thinking, yes, that's the kind of guy it takes to make money off a raped girl.I also hear that the men who took me are still at large. This and the pictures in the tabloid make it.
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