Wasn’t he neglecting his responsibility?“I hear you were quite a show tonight. The bar has never been so busy, I was even asked to allow you to be paid money into an account to do that regularly.”I smiled. At least someone appreciated what I had accomplished.“WHAT were you thinking?”I whipped my head to face him, “What was I thinking? You gave me a black heart in a bar and threw me to the wolves. I was fucking the wolves to keep them happy. Just like I was taught, just like I was trained. BY ALL OF YOU!”“Don’t get angry, Ruby, I just don’t understand what’s happened to you. I know the headmaster would like to parade you around as his own personal brochure for the school but I’m worried about you. Kyle is worried about you. I’m actually concerned he may pull out of this marriage.”“What?” My heart began racing. How was being successful in this lifestyle risking my future here?“He is very upset. His father came to see me to see if there is anything we can do. Maybe a. ”I can’t hold the laughter back. She looks offended. I compose myself, put on the serious face. “Do I look, feel or seem in any way dangerous?” She squints hard as if trying to see a tattoo on my forehead that says dangerous. “Close your eyes.” She does. “Listen to your heart.”After awhile her eyes open. “Not dangerous.”I draw her close again, continuing, “Pastor is a good man.”“You know him? Oh, of course you do.”“Yes, I know most people around here. It’s just…there’s a lot of fear that gets in the way. It’s hard to see things clearly with that much fear.” We snuggle some more. Either I’m not dangerous, or it’s okay to snuggle with dangerous. Either way is fine by me.I glance toward the horizon, “The sun’s going down.”“I need to get home. The kids tire grandma out by dinnertime.” Neither of us move. Finally she gets up, straddles my chest, pinning my arms with her knees. I couldn’t be happier. Folding arms to her chest, she declares, “I love my kids more than anything. I’d never.
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