I got back into bed. Allan was already snoring, but I was wide awakefighting against the conflicting emotions I felt. I pulled out mycigarettes from the bedside drawer and lit one. I leaned back againstthe headboard and exhaled letting the horrible smoke calm me down. Ilooked at the wedding ring on my finger again and then to my snoringhusband before staring at my reflection in the dress mirror on theother side of the room. A middle aged woman sitting back enjoying apost-sex cigarette. God what had I become?! I imagined going on a datewith Melissa like this and squeezed my eyes shut against the tears.Even if she was that way inclined, I could be her mother, hell I couldalmost be her grandmother! No Mrs. Harris was right. I had made my bedand now I had to lie in it. I finished my cigarette and stubbed it outon the ashtray on my bedside table, and tried to get comfortableenough to sleep, which was easier said than done. As a guy i alwaysslept on my stomach, something which was now. 26 thaan, thirumanam aagi kanavanai emartri ennai matum ookamal kuthiyil athigamaaga aripu eduthu veru oru paiyanin sunniyai umbi ookiraal.En nanbanum oru murai avalidam naan paarkaatha pozhuthu avalai usher seithu ithazhil mutham koduthu avalai maater poda oru idathirku azhaithu vanthaan.Kala naan angu irukiren endru theriyaamal irunthaal, naan ena seivathu endru theriyaamal oru idathil marainthu kondu irunthen. En nanbanai nee matter poda aarambi naan naduvil kalanthu kolugiren endru solli irunthen.Aval ulle vanathum iruvarum irukamaaga kati anaithu ithazhil mutham koduthu sappinaargal. En nanban avalin suuthai pidithu thadavinaan pinbu mualiyil kai vaithu pudavaiyai kayata aarambithaan. Aval pudavai kayandathum iru mulaiyum seixyaaga pazhuthu therinthathu. Athai kayati mulai kuthiyai nirvaanamaaga kanbika aarambithaal.En nanbanum muudu thaangaamal avanathu sunniyai veliyil eduthaan, avan sunni en sunniyai vida perithaaga irunthathu.Athai kala kaiyil pidithu kutha vaithu amarnthu.
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