Ever since her older brother moved away she had been lonely. She was very close to her brother. So after he left, she turned her attention towards me. Don't be mistaken, all that kissing we did earlier was nothing more than how we show affection towards a father-daughter relationship. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm just glad we are close, therefore I got nothing to complain."So, you got any boyfriend yet?" I asked.She looked at me with a bewildered face. "Uhhh...duh? Of course!" She said."Oh really? What's his name and when do I get to meet him?"She giggled. "You are my boyfriend, silly." She said and kissed me on the cheek."Oh, you're such a darling," I said as I held her closer. "Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I already have your mom." I know, I love you both," she said, wrapping her arms around my chest. I can feel fer warm cheeks on my bare chest and her warm breath. "Damn girl, give dad a space, it's getting hot." I said as I drank the last of the beer. My daughter took. And I can take physical pain, I can ignore that, but I can't take the emotional pain. I can't fight it. And I'll do anything to avoid it. But I can't keep going like this, my mom's word burrowing deeper into my brain, sowing these pessimistic seeds of doubt. And Carly notices my long looks at her, she senses that I'm almost constantly on the verge of saying something to her. But I can't.I want to, but I can't.Even as we head to bed, I'm fighting myself. Should I? Shouldn't I? Even as I slip under my blanket, even though I'm wide awake, fidgeting restlessly.I toy with a loose thread on the blanket, chewing my lip. No. I have to do it now. I stand, the blanket slipping from me. No. I can't. What if- I shake my head.I have to.I take a deep breath, pausing at the foot of the stairs. Once I do this... there's no coming back. Once it's done, it's done. It is what it is.I swallow hard. Hardly words of encouragement. But be brave, just be brave for once. I go up the stairs slowly, gripping.
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