Either I was on a bus trip to watch an opera or I was at a collaborative retreat with some choirs from multiple different schools. Judging by an earlier entry about how I punched someone in the face in the back of the bus on the way to the Opera, this article was the retreat. I could do a whole essay about my weird propensity to bad behavior on buses. I wasn’t angry with the boy I punched, someone dared me to and I was tired of my goody-goody reputation. However, the comment about evening choir socializing was about a different weekend.There’s not anything else written in my hand journal about the retreat. Surprising, since that is the only reference in the entire journal to meeting my first "boyfriend." I use quotations there, because I barely saw him.I met—let's call him Peter—at a collaborative event between a couple of different high school choirs. It was something of a retreat mixing the choirs. I took right away to the naive, but older twins I was bunked with. We’ll call. It’s a big, soft, red velvet rope like you’d buy in a fabric store to tie back curtains if you had no taste at all and wanted your room to look real gaudy. Or maybe if you were into a retro sixties thing.He asks if I trust him as he ties the rope around my wrist. I nod but my nod is a lie. How can you trust a man who’s tying a rope around your wrist? I’ve been married to him for twenty-one years, but the man that I was married to for all that time never tied me up. This is a different Bert than my husband. He might have the same face and the same voice and the same name but he’s not the man I married.He wraps the rope around my wrist many times, maybe a half dozen, before tying it off, so it’s like a big soft cuff; and he doesn’t pull it very tight, so it doesn’t bite into me. I have to raise my arm so that he can tie the end to the steel ring in the upper corner of the frame. As soon as he finishes and drops his hands from the knot, I relax my arm. It stays pointed toward the corner.
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