So much more. But that’s the way it goes. He’s over and done with me and I sit here rotting. Waiting for the scar tissue around the hole in my mind (where all of the things I believed about him have been distorted, warped, changed and ripped out) to harden. Waiting for the scars across my torn fingerprints to close and fade into one of the many lines that say so much without speaking. He worked his way into my fingerprints. Fingerprints do change. They are lives. You can read a fortune upon them and, if you follow the curves, distinguish individual pain. Fingerprints burn and cry and bleed longer, harder than eyes ever could. I wash them daily, my scars and fingerprints. Caress them. Sometimes I see him. Just long enough that he can thrust himself back into my life. Long enough for the wound to be torn farther to add bacteria to the contaminated flesh. I sit in the shower for hours crying the water that consumes me, wrinkles my fingerprints, and pinks my skin beyond the soft white. She didn't say much either. I think she was still a little embarrassed about what she had told me the night before. Either way, I was in for a lonely night alone watching porn and jerking off while Jackie would be watching her loser boyfriend play scrabble on the internet. She said a quick "Bye" and hurried out the door. I sat back and tuned on the TV. A few minutes later I was asleep. I woke a few hours later, and looked at the clock. It was 1:00am! I wondered how I could have slept for so long. Shaking my head, I got up to go brush my teeth. I then staggered to my room and crashed into my bed trying to get back to sleep. I watched the clock and the time drifted by. There was no way I was getting to sleep now. I tossed and turned but it was no use. Suddenly I heard the front door open and close. "Jackie?" I thought to myself. Why was she home so early? She usually stayed the night at Jonathan's place.I listened as she walked round the apartment for a while. I wondered what she was.
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