If ye could, ye would run screaming to yer own time.’ Cien shook his head and stood. ‘I’ll go with ye to yer 2008, if ye will still have me as yer husband.’ He bowed his head and looked up again. ‘Will ye have me?’ I started crying in earnest now. I put my hands over my eyes and cried into them. My heart had been broken, from nothing of his doing, and now if was whole and full again. That was his doing. I’d been so broken after Tilda’s death. So broken inside. And Cien was there to fix me. I felt whole, renewed, and alive for the first time in so long. ‘Yes, I’ll have you.’ I said, my face buried in my hands. I sobbed loudly, and suddenly heard the door swing open. Alex stood there glaring at me. ‘Why did ye order a bath for her, Cien?’ Cien turned to his cousin and shrugged. ‘I thought a clean witch was better burning than a dirty one.’ Alex eyed him carefully. ‘Ye believe me know do ye?’ ‘Aye. He magic’s wore off when she was away from me for so long.’ Cien looked at me, his eyes. I did it over and over. God, my vagina all around my clitoris got so raw that for about three days afterwards I had to keep it slathered with petroleum jelly. This is so embarrassing. Why do I tell you these things?I rented other movies, looking for explicit sex, and I began searching out books. That's when I first visited that little lesbian bookstore where I first saw a poster for the club. I came here about a week later, because Brian was away at a conference. Like I told you, I basically kept to myself the first time.The second time was about three months later. I was crazy with hating myself and not knowing about myself and wanting a woman to love-any woman. I had thoughts of killing myself. (she stops talking and puts her face down into her hands for a moment; I'm tempted to try to comfort her, but I think she just wants to be alone with her thoughts for a moment)Henry, seriously, if you ever told anyone I couldn't forgive you. I couldn't. (she takes a deep breath)Once I was.
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