"She only did it a few times in college with the same girl. She said it was fun because the girl knew exactly what to do and she was very much in control. Susan commented how hot it was to give up control and let someone use her for her pleasure and desire."She and I both turn red and then you add, "I asked her if she missed it and she didn't answer, but blushed when I said 'Don't worry Susan, I will be in control'."I look over at Susan, and even though she's pretty drunk, she's a little red that you told this story to me.You look at her and say, "Sorry, Susan, I didn't mean to embarrass you, I think it's fricking hot as hell. And don't worry about him saying anything, in fact he's very much like you."She asks what you mean and you tell her how I was drunk one night and how you commented you liked giving blowjobs. "He asked why I liked it so much and I said it's fun to do and it's so powerful to have a man in a position like that, wanting you so much and you have all the control."You. You just make sure you come back to me!’ I said, leaning closer to the computer screen. ‘You have all my love, Chris.’ He gazed at me like he did the night he told us he was leaving, like he was burning my image into his mind. He reached one hand toward his computer screen, like he could touch me through it. ‘I love you Hannah. I love you with everything I am. Please don’t worry about me so much that you forget to live. If anything happened to you because of me, I’d never be able to forgive myself.’ I smiled, a private smile just for my husband. ‘My dear love, I’m living everyday. When you get home, we’ll start living together.’ ‘Goodbye, Hannah. Sleep now. I’ll see you in my dreams.’ ‘Goodbye for now, Chris. Only for now.’ He smiled, touched the screen, and then his image was gone. I sat there for a moment, composing myself, then I shut off my laptop and went to bed. *** Chris had been gone for 12 months of his 18 month deployment. We had several more opportunities to talk over.
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