Maybe ,just maybe she would understand. But if he told her all his secrets, shewould tell everyone, he just knew it. He wasn't the best pupil at schoolbut one thing he learned he actually remembered and it seemed to fit howhe was now feeling. It was a History lesson about America and a blokecalled Roosevelt had said"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"He was frightened. Plain and simple. He was afraid to tell Tricia of hisMother and his childhood. He was afraid he had lost something good withTricia and Caroline. He was afraid of what would happen when Sally cameback. He was frightened, end of.The rational side of him now said, so whatif she knows. But it was such a big thing to talk about for him. For oncein your life, be a big man and tell her. So he did.Haltingly he began to try to explain. When he was little, he was about 4he thought, with an older sister of 10 he realised that his sister was hisMummy's favourite. She was the one Mummy paid most attention to. Of coursehis. The once white clean room was red with blood. Stumbling to her feet like a person in a windstorm her body was streaked with blood, her prized whit linen lay nearby ripped and red. Blood covered and nude, slipping on the wet floor, a hurricane in her head Bess staggered to the door mumbling, “Jimmy? Please, Jimmy. Help.” Then swallowing hard, supporting herself along the wall, her soiled hands making childish red finger paintings on the white painted surface, she cleared her throat, gathering the steel of a whore and screamed, “Jimmy, get your ass up here.” “Yeah Bess, I’m coming, give me a minute … Hang on a sec,” yelled Jimmy slowly making his way down the hallway. Jimmy was a man trusted in Magdalene House. Caring more for drugs than sex, Jimmy looked after the girls, the rooms and the linens. Old, bald, dirty and dressed shabbily, Jimmy entered finding Bess leaning against the wall. For a little moment he never spoke, just stared in disbelief at the sight beheld. “Holy shit!.
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