We have no spades to dig with. He’ll be okay where he is.’ Martin looked like he felt sorry for her. Hell, I reckoned he was just placating her so he could get sucked off again later on. I sure hoped we were going to be still around for that to happen. The way things had begun to look, I doubted I’d be alive myself for long. We moved off, Martin was in front and Miles brought up the rear. I followed behind Martin this time. I tried to concentrate where my feet were going, I put Blondie’s noisy crying out of my mind. Or tried to. I reckoned the heat had got to me for we hadn’t gone more than 10 metres when I turned on her and slapped her face hard leaving an angry red mark. ‘For fucks sake, shut up! You’re gonna have us all murdered if you keep that noise up.’ That seemed to stem the flow. My hand tingled from the slap. It must have hurt her like hell, but she hadn’t said a word. Glancing back the red mark showed my fingers clearly. I refused to feel guilty. Several times on our walk. Nope, thats not it, I see nothing special there. I watch as he grits his teeth at that comment. Like he should care what I say about myself, I mean nothing to him. Im just his breeding bitch. I know what it is! I exclaim suddenly, It has to be the fact that Im the most pathetic human being you could find. All alone at twenty with no future partner in sight, you thought you were doing me a favour right? Lets save poor, fat, worthless Selena from a life of misery. Enough, his low, hard voice resonates authority and he closes the space between us. Well guess what lover, you failed. I continue, poking his chest with my finger for emphasis, Youve taken me away from the only people who have ever cared about me and forced me to become, what? Your whore? Your wife? I scoff with derision. Yes Selena, my wife! His outburst is as sudden as mine but ten times more shocking. Why is it so unfathomable for me to possibly love you?! Do you really think so poorly of yourself? Im so stunned to see.
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