The dealer cried out for the pit boss “five on red.” He came over looking sternly at the five chips laid out and nodded to the dealer who stacked them back and placed them back on red. I was more nervous than usual and barely registered the pit bosses voice when he said “good luck, Sir.”Everyone watched the dealer as he flicked the little white ball into its track above the wheel. I could feel the sweat building on my palms and it had nothing to do with the five hundred dollar bet, but what this outcome might mean upstairs in our room. The ball spun around slower and slower. I held my breath as it slipped from the upper track and dove onto the wheel hitting two silver stars before bouncing off a green zero. The ball bounced and ricocheted off the numbers before seeming to settle for a moment and then popping out the back onto the inner wheel and then resettling into number three. The dealer cried out “Three – Red – winner!” I threw my hands in the air and around Becky’s neck. “Well then, what?”“If I knew that, I wouldn’t feel like this,” she groaned.“I have an idea,” I said.“What?”“How about we don’t make a baby until at least after college,” I said.She stared at me for so long that I started thinking I had screwed up somehow. I bet she just stared like that for two or three minutes. Finally she spoke.“Are you saying that, after college, you would be willing to get me pregnant?”I sensed danger, but I couldn’t identify it. It was like I was in the dark, and felt some malevolent entity out there that wanted to eat me, but I didn’t know which direction it was, or what it looked like, or how to protect myself.“Maybe,” I said, trying to get more information.She was just looking at me again.“Can I ask a question?” I asked. She nodded so I went on. “Can you help me understand why you want me to get you pregnant?”“Because I love you, you dope!“ she said, instantly.“I get that part,” I said. “And I love you, too. But how does having a baby help you to not miss me.
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