But I didn’t want to do that. The only choice was to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and confess.But that led to the next question, one that Father Herman was sure to ask. Was I intending to do it again? If I was, then I certainly couldn’t be sorry for my sin. Was I sorry for what I had done the night before? I knew, deep down, the only thing I was really sorry about was that it hadn’t gone further! And, once again, being honest about that put me right back on the horns of a dilemma.I wasn’t going to resolve anything in my mind immediately. Anyway, confession wouldn’t be until either Wednesday or Saturday night. I finished dressing and left my room. I walked down the hallway and down the half-flight of stairs of the upper floor of the split-level house.“Asshole!” I heard hissed from behind me.“Elizaveta Petrovna!” my mom said sternly from behind my little sister. “We do NOT use language like that in this house no matter how upset we are! Get in your room RIGHT NOW. I’ll be. "Again she nodded.He continued to hold her close, comforting her and enjoying the feeling of her body against his own. His emotions at that moment were very mixed. He was genuinely concerned about what had happened to her; however, he also was very pleased that she was so dependent on him. He would be her support in life: she would need him and because of that need, she would be unconditionally his. If she were cut off from her family and had no other friends, if he was the only person remaining in her life, then she truly would belong to him. He did not yet have enough experience in relationships to understand that love based on need is the same as love based on circumstances. His relationship with Ruthie would be every bit as fragile as the one he had with Lisa, unless he could somehow get her to love him for who he was instead of what he could do for her.That night Ruthie and Mike had dinner with his parents. Mike was uncomfortable because his mother gave his girlfriend several.
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