We were serious. At least, in my head, I was serious.My porn addiction evaporated. It just felt so dirty every time my urge twitched. Like all lonely boys, I had always drifted online every quiet alone chance I got. Now instead I spent every minute of every day analyzing the new Zoe. Mostly, actually, I tried to make sense of how the new confident sexy fun social Zoe fitted with the aloof clever frumpy Zoe I’d known at sixth form. Was she this way with everyone now? Did she dress like this to lectures, to go out? Would she attract attention, suitors, competitors? I was insecure, unsure. I was scared. I’m ashamed to admit it but I felt much safer with the frumpy old Zoe that no other boy would ever even notice. The old Zoe that I had had to myself, to my own dreams. At sixth form I had been safe knowing no-one else would take her from me, even if I had never had the guts to take her myself.That’s wrong. I’m not a prick. I would never ‘take her myself’. I’d ask her permission. Perhaps. When we got to the hotel (he and four of his friends had rented a room, and they passed the key between them) I let him go down on me right there on a bed with my prom dress raised above my waist. I can't decide if fucking is good or not, because Kelly came so quickly I didn't, well, feel special. Fireworks did not go off, but the second time he did me was better, and feeling him explode deep inside me (well, I think I felt it, the condom sort of dulled the true feeling) gave me a warm feeling all over. But then there was a knock on the door and we quickly had to make ourselves presentable as Jill and Bob wanted to use the room. "Thinking back it was nice, but not spectacular. I felt the power of sex...Kelly had been begging me...but it wasn't fireworks and explosions. Maybe he wasn't doing it right, or maybe he isn't experienced. He said I was his first, so maybe we have to do it more to get it right, but he didn't feel as good inside as my "friends". Gee, is it perverted that I.
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