"Right," said Santa Claus. "Sandra Hochfeld. The Unicorn Hummer." Santa slipped off his gloves, extracted two Hummers from his sack, one of silver, one of gold, and shot speedily down the chimney. Mrs. Claus followed."Okay, let's check out that hair color," Santa said, brushing the faintest plume of golden soot into oblivion. He began galumping up the stairs and down the hall towards Sandra's bedroom."Shh," Mrs. Claus whispered. "You're so noisy in your big boots. Aren't you afraid of waking her?"Santa Claus laughed. "Time stops during deliveries. C'mon, follow me!" And motioning to Mrs. Claus, he bounded the last few steps into Sandra's bedroom.The bedroom, illumed by the warm light of a candle in frozen flicker, gave itself up to Santa and Mrs. Claus. Shadows slanted sensuously across the dark floor. But Santa was not looking at the floor, and the light was not enough to keep Santa from tripping. Snagged on something more substantial than the melt of shadow, something with a. He would secure them in the old-fashioned "stocks" contraption and pin up their dresses or skirts to expose the evidence of their guilt. Then, he would make extensive photographic files for future criminal proceedings if necessary. His system would always show the offending parts and the faces of the girls in the same shots to make certain there would be no plea of "not guilty". He was famous for his use of the "rubber glove" forensics to gather DNA from both front and back of the female in question. Sometimes he made expanded examinations if the subject seemed excited about the procedure. Any female that was unwise enough to give Alan "lip" would suffer anal explorations that made them decidedly more docile when completed.His next stage of re-education was to put the girls into humiliating adult diapers intended for persons with continence problems or advanced senior citizens. Then he would ignore their pleas for use of the rest room and cause them to dirty their wrappings like.
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