'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'Catholic DogMuldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother. His Dad and Gran had been having a relationship since he was about seven years old, and although nobody else ever knew, he did. His Gran was now about 70 years of age and still had the sex drive of a much younger woman. He showered and was lying on his bed looking through the latest Playboy magazine and starting to feel very horny. He took his cock out of his boxers and started to idly play with it. It felt so good and he was so engrossed in this act that he didn't hear his bedroom door open. His Gran stood at the door, watching him. "Oh Timmy, you shouldn't be doing that." "Gran, I didn't think you were home." "Timmy, why are you wasting that beautiful load. Come on into my bedroom and let us put some of those lessons to the test, OK," she said. "Can I, Gran, that would be so great. I have wanted to push Dad off you at times so that I could try all the things that he and you have shown me." "Well, give me 10 minutes darling and then come into the bedroom." Tim wandered into his.
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