Getting married to one person is enough to make normal folks nuts. You can imagine then that with this situation it has been cubed! The disclaimer is that, of course, we cannot legally be ‘married’.” I made air quotes.“But in our eyes, and in the eyes of our lawyer,” I stopped to chuckle at that one, “we will be legally bonded. And in our hearts, we will be emotionally and morally bonded. So, Lynn and Erin and I are going to step into the store room and prepare for this. Tony is going to open up a space in the tables. When we come back in, we ask that you please stand behind your chairs and witness our wedding.”I looked to Lynn and then Erin. They stood and we took hands and walked to the store room. We waited as Tony and his staff began to move tables. When the room was set, we didn’t say a word. We opened our robes and removed them. Lynn surprised me by removing her wig showing her wonderful bald tattooed head. Something that most of our friends knew about but no one paid attention. It is written in his own hand in blue ink with a crisp fine point pen. I have to get over to Northern Kentucky for a Chamber of Commerce networking luncheon. After that, I’ll call Mr. Sheppard and politely cancel our date. I’ll make sure to be working out at the gym at seven just in case he decides to show up at my house anyway. The Chamber lunch is like every monthly Chamber lunch. Everyone is on the make. Everyone is looking to find someone useful to their business. If you’re not useful, you’re useless. It’s always good to keep that fact in mind. Everyone is looking for someone to sell something to. That usually fails. It’s mainly a social hour for men and women who aren’t social but need at least one monthly social outlet. We trade rumors. Who filed bankruptcy? Who is building that new massive warehouse out by the airport? Who is late in payment? Whose divorce is going to run their business into the ground? Who got smacked with a sexual harassment complaint? Everyone bitches about.
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