They both look absolutely petrified."Lovely, thank you!" Yes, very nice!"They aren't the only ones tucking in as though they were being treated tofreshly caught sea bass garnished with Jersey new potatoes and succulentbaby carrots, or prime fillet steak marinated in red wine, grilled over acharcoal flame and smothered in a creamy pepper sauce. Beside the window,Mr and Mrs Sourface and their three odious children are doing their utmostto mimic a family who have just watched a news flash announcing that theHome Secretary has called for the immediate reintroduction of rationing,whilst at the next table the buxom refugee from the halcyon days of glamrock with the asymmetric multicoloured hair and skin-tight black leatherpants resembles a she-bear awakening from hibernation in a salmon farm.Apart from myself, the one individual in the room seemingly immune fromthe collective delusion that the miserable fare in front of him is a feastto be devoured as fast as his jaw muscles will allow is. I smiled nervously. Then said “ hello”“ Nice restaurant huh?” he said.“ Yes it is.” I said turning towards the hand dryer, but deciding against it, since the girl was blocking it.“ It sure did take your friend a long time to find that napkin huh?” he said smiling.Where the hell are the napkins? I thought while searching the premises for something to wipe my hands with, glancing for a moment at the ‘uni-sex bathroom sign’.I busted out laughing then said, “I know he’s so stupid.”“ Maybe next time I could help him, you know, find you’re umm napkin.”I looked him up and down then said “maybe.” Glancing at homegirl wondering why the hell she was letting her man talk to me like that.Just then I heard “girl come on so we can order our food.” I waved bye to the couple and went back to my seat, making sure my ass jiggled as I walked out of the door. We ordered our food, salmon for me and shrimp scampi for him. It was delicious. “Desert?” he asked. “Oh no” I replied. ”We’ll have desert at home..
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