After all, I came hard each and every time we did it, how was that wrong?“He doesn’t fuck you,” Elsie said over and over.“What’s he doing then? I mean he’s in me and I love the feel of him in there; he comes and I come. What’s the problem, Elsie?”“I… I can’t really explain it. I mean, it sounds to me like he’s fingering you with his dick, not fucking you with it. But I can’t explain… wait.”“What? I said, wanting to clarify why she thought we were doing it wrong.“If you really want to see what it is to get laid, I can get Stevie over here in fifteen or twenty minutes.”“What, you two going to get it on while I watch?”“Or you can let Stevie do you and see for yourself,” Elsie said.“You’d let your boyfriend bang me?”“I’m your friend, Dee, you need to know.”I wasn’t overly shocked by Elsie’s announcement; in fact, I was kind of excited by the idea. She was willing to let Stevie fuck me just to demonstrate that me and Johnny hadn’t been doing it correctly. It did occur to me that she might. I noticed that my mouth was watering and hurried off to work. At this point I realized that obsessing over something as simple and innocent as having noticed a slight change in her wardrobe had probably been a self-fulfilling prophecy, reverse psychology I was pulling on myself. I put it out of my mind, pretty successfully. I didn't think about it at all, and when I did I pushed the thought out of my mind with ease.A week later I woke up in the early morning. It was four A.M. I needed to be awake in four more hours for work. I looked across the bed. My mom was splayed out, the flood flights from a department-store parking lot falling through our blinds in slivers across her sleeping body - she had kicked off the light blanket in her sleep. It happened sometimes.She was in a t-shirt and panties, with no bra. I knew not to think about it, I knew not to interrogate myself over stray thoughts quickly pushed away. I knew that if I had refused to look at her it would've only rooted the idea.
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