The stained glass windows depicted saints bleeding and crucified in many creative ways. It felt like home, at least to my blood it did. To my corpse brain it just felt creepy, but I'm a creep myself so that was okay."Hello," I called. "I'm looking for a priest of some kind?" I'm a priest," said the hunchback."Not you," I said disdainfully, pursing my blood-red lips."Why not me?" the hunchback asked."I want the kind of priest that slays vampires with holy water," I said. "Not the kind that rings bells and befriends gypsies and yells about sanctuary."The hunchback seemed offended for some reason. "I could slay vampires," he said. "If I wanted to. I don't hold with that kind of cowboy nonsense, though. I pass out the Communion wafers, give confessions, and bang the nuns. That's it." Nuns and gypsies?" There's no such thing as gypsies. Why are you dressed like a sexy nurse?" Because I'm a sexy nurse," I explained, sticking out my blood-red tongue."No, you aren't," the hunchback. A change of roles for the moment. I am the teacher, you are the student. You are to write me a story, no more than 250 words, of your favorite fantasy. Even one you haven’t thought of yet would be more than acceptable. The first thing that comes out of your finger tips, no editing, no revision.’ ‘Hell… Can I clean up the typos?’ Another pause. ‘OK. But that’s it, nothing else.’ ‘How do you know that I’ll follow those orders, Teacher? We’re five hundred miles apart and unless there’s something I don’t know here, there are no security cameras installed anywhere that will tell you what I’m writing or changing or revising’ ‘Because I asked?’ I smiled. ‘Good enough. How long do I have for this assignment, Teacher?’ ‘Until we talk later tonite? But you’re not allowed to start writing until you can finish it in one sitting. And no notes. I want what’s in your heart and head, and well, down below, too.’ ‘OK OK. Fair enough. And what do I get for completing this assignment?’ ‘An ‘A’ if it’s.
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