I knew this, yet it was so hard. I missed him. Ifelt so silly, pathetic even, yet I couldn't help it, and as the silence wenton the more determined I became to do what he wanted. Then, on the fourth day of his silence, I had a break through; I was lyingon my bed, my hips elevated with a couple of pillows and my legs spread wideopen. My hand was in it's usual position between my legs, four fingers firmlyembedded inside my vagina with my thumb tucked up inside, I was angling myhand down towards my anus, and slowly but steadily it just went in furtherthan ever before, there was a burning, stinging, sensation and with one finalpush my fist penetrated me, totally. The feeling was incredible, intense, totallyoverwhelming. I felt stuffed and yet my flesh seemed to envelope my hand solovingly, yet the feelings weren't just in my vagina, my anus felt stuffedtoo, my clitoris stung and I truly felt as though I would pass out from thepain/pleasure I was receiving. More than that though, was the. PAUL: Stop. Just ... stop the music. Stop, stop.The music stops as the boy wipes his eyes, tries to stop crying, and finds that he cannot.PAUL: I ... I can’t do this.The sobbing child abruptly turns around and leaves the stage. The audience murmurs and the band looks lost. They start to do a rambling jam, not any song that either or both children have ever sung on stage. After a few minutes Paul walks back onto the stage and picks up the microphone. The audience applauds loudly.PAUL: I’m sorry. Boys are supposed to be brave. No boy wants to say that he isn’t as brave as a girl, but I’m just not as brave as ... as Paula. I can’t sing that song, but I can sing this one.The nine-year-old sings the Beatles‘ “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and though his voice cracks twice, he doesn’t cry and he finishes the song. There are tears in the audience; they are very aware that he isn’t holding anybody’s hand. The child-couple would always hold hands as they sang this one, and it just doesn’t seem.
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