We head over to this nice little place that has outside seating. As we sit and chat about this and that, I watch them with interest. I wasn't surprised to find them both shorter than me---most people are---but they weren't by much. They were exactly the people they were online, so I started to relax and enjoy myself.We were all having a good time until Lina mentioned getting me checked into the motel. This was a conversation stopper, as everyone, including myself, remembered why I had come all this way. Nervous again, I quietly get into the car and we drive to where I am staying.To break the heavy tension in the silent car, I crack a joke: "A blonde, a lobster, and a tea kettle walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, 'What is this? Some kind of joke?'" My efforts were rewarded with a chuckle from the back seat, then a laugh from the driver's seat, and soon we were all laughing, the tension completely disappearing as we all relaxed in each other's company.When we got to the. Realizing this, I felt ashamed of myself, because of the glaring lack of maturity and self control this decision had exposed in me. I knew I had too many people depending on me to be able to indulge myself like I had been doing.This thing with Anita was over. I had to just accept that it was, and then move on. Anything less than that would put in jeopardy everything I'd been hoping to accomplish. She and I would never be happy together. Our personalities just couldn't mesh in a healthy way, and this was something all good relationships needed to have.Rob had tried to warn me that I was the problem as far as letting go of Anita went. He said I had to find whatever justification I needed, whatever it took that would allow me to let her go, and then just go ahead and use what I'd come up with. He told me I needed to be the one who walked away, with no regrets. He didn't tell me how to do that though, and I knew I'd have to be the one who actually found a way.Lupe's estimate of yield at.
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