In the meantime, I'll behave as if I knew nothing. Thanks, Caroline." That same day she got Bud's answer back: "I expected you'd say something like this, which sounds like escaping the problem to me! Yet, you have already shown yourself capable to take anything that comes in your way, otherwise you would have gone to your husband or anybody else, disconcerted and unable to take any reasonable action. Look here now: it is very possible that reading that hypothetical letter of yours triggers an irrational decision on his part: disappointment, shame, fear?! Who knows?! Therefore I suggest that you try and discuss it openly with him before he leaves. What problem would you have with an open discussion?!" Caroline was terribly doubtful: was Bud right?!She went on like this for days until, on Saturday, April 21st, she accepted Bud's advice about the letter: "Ok, Ok!", she replied to her email-friend, "I wont send him away with any letter, but I still don't feel like I can handle a direct. . part of her plan to help me understand her better. Each ofthose things that I now felt so comfortable with had started out with mejust playing the game and trying them out. But once I had tried them...drinking coffee... smoking... or putting on makeup, it was as if I hadsomehow accepted those things as part of myself. As if I had opened thefloodgates and let those habits and behaviors become my own."Oh shit," I whispered as I realized just how many things I hadintentionally done like Aunt Elyse during the day. There were so manythings that I must have picked up from her magic without even realizingit.With that I finished off the wine in my glass in a single gulp, thentook another drag from the cigarette. It was sort of scary to realizethat not only my body could be so easily changed, but my own behavior aswell. And without my having even been aware of it until then.I thought about what was going on and what had happened to me while Iwent about cleaning the table and putting the.
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