Ireally appreciate that you were recusant enough to get me through this. Idon't think of you as gone - I am quite like you, only stronger. I amhappy, whereas you were not. I can easily smile, which is something youwere rarely capable of.When I think of all the things that I we had to overcome together, it'squite a list. The five year crippling Ambien addiction, the splatter-moviemugging of 2002, and the 12 years of religious indoctrination in the guiseof schooling - thinking through that alone is an impressiveaccomplishment. We are tough as nails, Space cat - and no one can takethat from us. That said, you don't exist anymore, legally or nominally. And today is aday of celebrating what you were able to accomplish - becoming strong tolet me become Brianna.It's important to me to not allow the fact that I am a transsexual tooverwhelm my life - and from here I've got some pretty important things toaccomplish. Our government has become openly corrupt, and it is my destinyto be part of a. I hadn?t noticedover the pulse of the music."I?m sorry," she buried her face in me, "I keep dragging you down." Lexi, no." I wiped a tear from her cheek. "I?m the one who dragged youinto this. I felt betrayed because you left us when we needed you, butwhat was I mad at? That you had moved on with your life? That you werebeing you? You did exactly what you should have done and I was so selfabsorbed that I begrudged you for it. I was an awful brother." No!" she slammed her fist feebly against my chest. "Don?t ever say that!You?re the only one who?s ever truly cared about me. You put up with allmy crazy bullshit! You keep believing in me even when I don?t believe inmyself. You encourage me to go to school and do great things. You?re thebest brother I could have had." No. that?s not true." now I was tearing up as well. "I haven't. But youknow what? From now on I will be. I?ll always be there for you, Lex, Ipromise."We hugged, only the mass of her cartoonish udders getting between us..
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