They were quiet for a few seconds, until the children came running to the table cajoling for dessert. As James drove home later, Lucy’s turkey drawing was on the seat next to him. It was hardly a Picasso—it was far more valuable. To James, the affection showed him by the small child vindicated his innocence of all of what others had accused him. He cemented the conversation at the table into his memory. What he said was true, he enjoyed exercising his math skills with his able student, and he liked Raymond and his family. He hadn’t told it all, though, because he knew that they would never understand him. ‘If I ever become a good person, I’ll owe it to Raymond,’ he said out loud to…himself…or perhaps, to Someone else. ********** As was his custom, James placed an envelope with his rent check in Mrs. Wilkinson’s mailbox on the last day of every month. His rental agreement was on a month to month basis, so a few days after Thanksgiving he covered himself for December. Every month he. I knew I needed to be carefree, to let things happen and enjoy myself all the while, or people would sense my obsession and I'd remain alone. I had to let life take its course and give me chances to discover relationships instead of obsessing about the relationships that weren't happening. Now it was the same with the spanking thing with Lisa. "That's me," I agreed."But you can do it," she said encouragingly, "lighten up and you'll find yourself asking her exactly as you've planned." I'm not going to ask her!" I said."Why not?"Why not? I realized a part of me absolutely refused such a thing no matter how well I might ever manage to conquer my nerves. And in any case I didn't want to admit anything to Martha. I obviously still felt weird about the whole business. A straight woman asking another straight woman if they can engage in a little spanking, just innocent fun of course. In any case, the odds Lisa would do anything other than be shocked and start avoiding me had to be pretty.
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