Once again Ihad something to wear."And after Christmas I'll buy you some new things to wear. Before thatit can't happen, sorry." It's OK, Mom. I'm in the clear with the two new pairs of pants. Todayno one looked twice at my sweater." And what about the pants?" Didn't attract anyone's attention." Wonderful. Here are the things for your friend." I saw a dress justlike the one I had worn Saturday. Only smaller. That reminded me that Ihad to wear it even more often."I even have lingerie. One set for your friend and one for her sister."Two packages of very pink lingerie were placed on the table. Guaranteedthat Mark would be enthusiastic. "And a package for you."Oh no, what joy! That really meant two packages for me.But there was more. "Moni was happy to get rid of these." She showed metights. "Each pack has four. Two from Disney and two from Barbie." Andthat's exactly what they looked like. She divided them. One pack for mynon-existent girl friend, one for Mark and one for me. Great!. I put my head in my hands. What was I supposed to do? Every fiber of my being was telling me to go after her and fuck her brains out. To make her mine. To make her never want another man. But there was that small part of my brain, in the back of my head, that told me no. It was my voice of reason, telling me that what I wanted, what we wanted was wrong on so many levels. It told me that she was my twin sister, and even if we had already done it once, it had been an accident, and we shouldn't look to repeat that in any way, shape or form. It told me that yes, I could find her attractive, but I must never touch her. It told me that I could try to measure my potential girlfriends up to her, as long as I didn't idolize her. But over all, it told me that I should tell her exactly what I was feeling, because it was wrong to lead her on.And god how I hated that voice.I stood up, and walked over to the magazine that was splayed open on the floor and picked it up. I closed it and brought it.
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