I pushed everyone away: you, mom, dad. I even tried to push Jack away, but he wouldn't let me."I guess the crying finally got to him, because he came to me with the coin. He explained about the wishes. I thought he was talking nuts. Like you're thinking I probably am. Don't worry. I know how crazy this sounds. I wish it was just craziness on my part. But when he wished that I was as beautiful as he saw me, I knew different. I was perfect, more than perfect."I wondered why he hadn't used the coin in the first place, but I didn't want to risk anything by asking too many questions. I should have asked, though. I should have asked before he made any wishes. You see, Barb, there's a cost to using the coin, a cost Jack didn't tell me about."Jack started losing weight. He also rounded out and became cuddlier. I wondered about it, but I was too caught up in my own career to make much of an effort. Then I came home from an international shoot feeling horny as hell. I cornered him in the. "Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil."Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."Dear Family & Friends,I am sorry that I have not been consistently responsive lately to your emails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF). For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious.Symptoms include, but may.
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