She jumped out of her bed, checked quickly on her still slumbering child and rushed into her lodger's room. She found Jack lying in his bed weeping inconsolably. "Are you all right? Are you ill?" I'm dying," Jack moaned. "I've discovered tumors. I'm sure they're cancerous." The unfortunate young man wept even harder and exposed his chest to the startled landlady."They look like breasts," Helen said finally after having a close look at the "tumors." Don't be ridiculous," Jack huffed. "I'm a man. Men don't have breasts. They're tumors." His outrage had at least stopped his crying. But Jack was wrong. They were indeed breasts. And what a pair of hooters they were! Any woman alive would have been proud to have possessed this perfect pair of tit flesh. But since Jack was a man and a not so proud possessor of these lovely jugs, they looked totally out of place."They're breasts," Helen maintained. "I don't know how but that's what they are." But what should I do?" Jack looked like he was. I still live behind home plate in that squatting position. You can always distinguish the poor kids from the middle kids in Catholic grammar schools. The have-nots wear stiff socks that are hand washed every single night in the sink and dried on the oven doors in the morning, the socks lose their elasticity from the washing and linger around the ankles all stretched out leaving cold bare white legs turning blue and big knees. You can spend your days pulling your socks up to your knees but eventually you just forget about them. The blue plaid jumper does not have any fabric left to hem, except for a thread and it just keeps getting shorter and shorter and shorter. You rub holes in your navy sweater where the thumb lives and eventually your thumb pokes through it, now you are covered, the sweater with your holes for your thumbs to live in shelter your wrists and most of your hands, compensating for your exposed bruised knees. Your Daddy drives a nineteen fifties Plymouth painted primer.
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