And 36 is too young to die. I don't care who you are."Mary said, "Do you pity her?" No. It isn't as if God struck her down or circumstances beyond her control took everything away from her. She knew what she had and she made the choice to give it up. You can't pity someone for using their free will, no matter how they mess it up."Charlie said, "Well, I've got my car if you want to visit her again." Thanks, Charlie, but I don't think so. It's a little too late to play mother-daughter. I know this sounds mean, but I don't want to get too friendly with her just to have her die on me."Mary said, "God. That sounds so heartless." Mary, it was heartless of her to leave Daddy and me all those years ago. I understand why she did it but that doesn't mean we didn't lose her when she left. If you want to call somebody heartless, take a look at her. She did what she had to do to survive, which is fine. I'm going to do what I need to survive, and right now, that doesn't include becoming buddies. I didn't. She said I'd be sore afterwards. I was.She didn't tell me that all that leads to an almost spiritual connection. I guess that maybe it's a matter of mindset. I went into Lane's bed knowing that he loves me and I love him and I guess I had expectations that colored my experiences. Maybe if it was a Saturday night hookup after I had a little weed and a little beer, I would've missed it, but there it was, after we'd mated, there was my blood on his bed. What I shared with Lane I could never share with another.That pain Sherry told me about? It was definitely there, but it wasn't so bad that I didn't spread my legs and straddle Lane a few more times. It's good feeling full of him and it's good when that full feeling is a warmth all though me and it's good when I figure out how to rub my button on him when we're pushing in and out and it's past descriptive words when I'm coming and while waves are washing over me he strains up into me and I feel him throb and then there's this.
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