She was right unfortunately. I never really let myself go in my relationships. I went into them knowing they would end and always saved myself from getting too badly hurt. The flip side, is that I never really let myself be myself. I always catered to their needs and desires. Well, not totally, but it was better to be passive and agreeable than argue. And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the. She carefully placed a generous portion of each dish onto my plate and stood at my side while I sampled each. She was a great cook, a trait she did not get from her mother. Once she was satisfied that I was pleased with the meal, she sat in the chair beside me and fixed her plate. After we were done with dinner and the dishes, I excused myself to shower. I was being very meticulous. I wanted Kimberly, but under the circumstances, I wanted her to make the move to continue what we had started earlier. As bad as I had wanted her to join me in the shower, I didn't invite her. I just hoped she would follow. Unfortunately, she did not. As the water cascaded down my body, I anxiously waited for the shower door to open and my beautiful daughter to step in, but it didn't happen. I washed and watched until the hot water started to run out. I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and placed a towel around my waist.Up until that day, I had always been modest around Kimberly. She had.
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