I had reviewed and re-settled this in my mind mostly on the long drive north from LeGrande. Upon crossing the Columbia the scenery and the mood changed to lighter fare and my thoughts as well as our sporadic conversation took some new turns. Longview, a medium-sized community of the I-5 corridor just north of Portland, was on my mind for reasons I could not fathom, and I guess that was my destination even if I could not then perceive why that should be so. For some diversion and to ease the tension I decided to stop at the Stonehenge replica and the Maryhill Gallery at Goldendale, thinking these attractions would interest her and breakup the tension of the day. They did. It turned out to be a most tender and inspiring interlude. First, the Stonehenge replica is a fascinating and mysterious thing. We discussed that for more than an hour together, sitting in the soft sunshine amidst the massive stones, and what all we knew about the Druids and the early religious activities in. Sometimes, people who are naturally empathetic, will then sense what I’m feeling. Kind of like ping pong, you know? Feeling starts with you, hits me and feels the same, then bounces back to you. Only you don’t know that what you’re sensing from me is actually a mirrored reflection of what originated in you. You think I’m feeling the same way. Get it?’ ‘Yes, this does make perfect sense. It explains the elevator when our eyes met.’ ‘So, now imagine what it’s like when men have a reaction to me. They think they’re sensing me responding to them, but I’m not. Also, when someone is afraid, they sense my fear too, and it can cause a panic. Fear breeds on fear, same with sadness, hurt, pain, happiness and even joy. The mean kids at school thinking it was okay to tease because I was enjoying it too, they thought. It can be dangerous for me, you see? I stay away from people as much as possible. I can’t make friends, I can’t have dates or boyfriends, or a social life. It’s all too dangerous.
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