For the rest of that evening I talked with Draven about everything that was going on in my life. He explained to me his motto which was ‘There’s someone who always has it worse than you’ I guess he was right too. But I lost the only woman I had ever loved. I had never even gotten the chance to tell her everything I had to say to her. I never even kissed her. I teared up again. Draven told me with time I’d heal and feel better. In the mean time, he invited me to his Group he called ‘The Circle of Friends’ I fought the feelings that had hidden inside me, dark thoughts, anger, ready to explode but I kept it all under control. I’ve become very irritable and negative with everything in my life after Page’s death. I didn’t even attend her funeral. Not even her ex boy friends went which made me even more enraged with myself. In a way I felt as if I betrayed her. I’d go one for another couple weeks feeling guilty and massively disturbed. I kept a journal like this one but it only lasted. His question shocked me and I knew I knew he would spank me. I’ve never been spanked before and guy was still a stranger to me. I knew I could stop but I didn’t. Lexington slowly pulled on his leash upwards and I stood up and submitted to his commands. I stood facing the wall and put my hands on the wall. Interestingly, I also spread my legs. I have no idea why, I did that. It felt like it was just natural.?If you understand what I am about to do, nod your head.?After hearing those words, I knew it was coming. I nodded my head and in a few seconds, with a swift motion, he slapped my ass. I felt so violated, yet at the same time, I felt so free at the same time and so relived to actually experience such a feeling.?Alice, I want you to pull down your jeans.??Please Sir, I do not want to.? I really wanted to but I just couldn’t agree to it.?Very well. Answer my original question. Tell me your ultimate fantasy.??Sir, I guess? I guess I always had a fantasy of being raped.? I said in a.
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