I surrendered in a way that seems logical by definition in its demand that I no longer refer to myself, or even think of myself as, a person. Since I am now an object, chattel of limited value, an animal, I think of myself as an it a thing to be used, or not, by my owners or their agents. By the end of this sentence, I will no longer refer to myself as an I, instead it will refer to itself as just what it is, a thing, and use the proper words to do so. Ahhh. What a relief. To write of itself as other than an it, is stressful, reminding it of the way it used to think when it was a person, and the nightmarish pain that it now associates with the struggle it put up in fighting its surrender. You see, it's not that it lives without pain--on the contrary, it lives with pain every moment of its life. Just that it understands now that pain, abuse, degradation, humiliation, torture, punishment, service, and solitude are the states of existence that it was meant to experience at all. I kept scanning the seats I could see to determine the possibilities of a more comfortable arrangement but as take-off time neared, I couldn't see many vacancies.Right at the last minute, one of the flight attendants came down the aisle leading a woman who was struggling with a crutch. As she passed by me, I could see that she was wearing a pressure bandage on her right knee and was not putting any weight on it. As the attendant helped her into a seat a couple of rows behind me, I heard her say that she'd had an accident and had torn ligaments in the knee. However she couldn't let that stop her from a long-planned visit to her sister on the west coast.Ten minutes later, the doors were closed and the plane was pushed back from the gate. Quickly I got up and went to the back of the plane for one last look around and I found that the five seats in front of the rear bulkhead were occupied only by the lady with the bad knee... she had settled into the three seats on the left side, covered.
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