“I can imagine that,” said Phoebe. “You were sweet to comfort her.”“But the next morning when we woke up, I guess she wasn’t as worried. Waking up with somebody naked is really different than just waking up like you have all your life, alone. So we started kissing and actually, the first time my ... penis ... went inside her it was an accident. I mean we didn’t intend for it to go in her, but we were kissing and she was wiggling around and ... it just happened.”Phoebe stood up and went to the kitchen. When she came back she had a glass of orange juice. Her brow was furrowed. When she sat down she looked at me for a few seconds.“I didn’t intend to lose my virginity when it happened, either,” she said. “A boy named Rodney did, though. Intend to do it, I mean. I thought we were just fooling around, but he got ... aggressive.”“Shit,” I said, softly. “He raped you?”“I can’t honestly say it was rape. I didn’t want him to do it, but I also didn’t try to make him stop. I tell myself I was too. “Look after yourself.,” said the other, before shaking his head and muttering “I wouldn't let my daughter walk home from here.” "Hey, I heard that gramps! I’m old enough to look after myself thank you!” I giggled as I waved goodbye. I’d done this walk so many times I couldn't count anymore. It was an area I came to often just to walk, clear my head. Tonight was one of those nights, I was so glad to be leaving. I hadn't been in my bed for nearly two days, let alone managed anything resembling sleep. I had literally been dragged out by my best friend. She wanted to go meet some guy and wanted my moral support. I think what she really meant was, ‘Please come with me so I don’t look pathetic showing up alone.’ Once she’d disappeared off, after about twenty minutes, I’d found myself trying to have a good time. A few guys tried to dance and talk to me but I really wasn't in the mood. Sleep deprivation hits me hard sometimes. It sends my brain into frenzied overdrive. I didn't even have to.
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