I've worked too hard, especially since we started on our Masters, to allow myself to be taken in the light I project sometimes... OH LOOK! There's a Towne Car pulling in, I bet it's the boys." Lucy said as they were getting out of the Mustang.After being seated in the restaurant the girls quickly steered the conversation away from shopping and what they had purchased. The talk centered mostly on PolyTech life and Manhattan life. The evening seemed to fly by and at 8:30 they were walking out The Flat Iron Steakhouse with only one totally sober of the group, Jeromy."So, I get to drive the "chick" car, huh? Maybe we'll joyride for a bit." Jeromy kidded."Oh, come on, Jer," Lucy pleaded, "We've been in these clothes all day. I want to get back and put on my grungies and get into the wine a little more." The wine!" Joe said kidding her, "Last night you were damn near bare ass after just 2 glasses, what kind of show do we get if you drink more?" You guys missed the show last night, you. To be fair, I put some of it on myself, but I can never really parse out how much of it was my own creation and how much was my parents assignment of a role to me.For example, I took responsibility for my younger siblings, trying to protect them and keep them from getting in trouble. Of course, my parents held me responsible for their behavior, but I embraced that responsibility and tried to make it work.I took punishments for them when I could - when I was brave enough. I felt like a coward when I wasn't brave enough and I felt like a failure when I couldn't play the system well enough to get punished in their place.At night, sometimes I would lay in bed, listening to one of my brothers or sisters being spanked and I would cry into my pillow wishing I could be the one getting it. I hated hearing their cries and the sound of a hand - or the almost-silent sound of the hairbrush - hitting them rhythmically.The cries would sometimes turn to screams and usually begging: "Please Mommy!.
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