She was calling to express her concernand to relay the sympathies of much of the rest of the staff who hadcared for me after the operation. Mary, Kara, the doctors, the aideswere all upset about the way my case was handled and were ready to helpme if I needed witnesses for my case. I really appreciated the supportand redialed Terri's number immediately, she must have had me in hercontacts and answered, "Hi, Jim! Everybody hopes you're doing ok!" I'm doing ok, Terri, thanks for your message. I really appreciate yourcall!" It's the least we could do and I want you to know that I'm here for youif you have any questions about recovery. I had the same procedures byDr. Demarcus and I had a support group for trans people, I want to makesure you have the same resources and help that I had. I know yoursituation is different, I wanted to become a woman but I've talked to mygroup about you and they are available to help you through this too, ok?" Terri, thanks for everything and I want. Never made a sound. She just lay there, staring upward with that funny little smile of hers, like she was seeing butterflies flitting around above her. And we thrust and grunted and bumped her, until our release when we would pull out and spray it across her stomach. (We never used condoms. They were too hard to get in our little town.) Then she'd clean it up and we'd simply go back to the group like nothing happened, and she'd still have that strange little smile on her face.The only time she ever talked was when someone accidentally came inside her."Oh no!" was all she'd say. "Don't do that."Her voice was actually very beautiful, soft and sullen, sweet, like a singer between songs.On weekends, we used to climb the water tower. We'd sit up there, talk, and laugh, and tell stories, passing cigarettes around and taking swigs from stolen bottles. It was dark up there, dark enough that nobody could see us, and far enough into the outskirts of town that if we saw someone coming, we could.
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