I walk to her front door. And knock. She answers the door in some really short shorts and a nice low cut top shirt. I brought you sunflowers. Omg theyre my favorite she says. I know i remembered i replied. She smiles so big and gives me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Im so glad i bumped into you today. Me too i replied. So she walks into the kitchen to grab a vase for the flowers and i follow her she leans over and reaches under the sink. I cant help but notice the thick ass on her was absolutely amazing. And dinner smelled delicious. She made some amazing italian meatballs and stuffed shells. It was so good. After dinner she wanted to watch a movie. So we got comfy on the couch and started to watch something she snuggled close to me and we started to talking not really paying attention to the movie. She lights up a joint and we pass it around. Now im getting hungry again so i ask what was for dessert. She smiles and hops up and goes to the fridge and come back with a can of whip. Sometimes I just am because I am.I don’t like loud noises. Loud noises echo inside my head and won’t stop. Sometimes the noises are voices, sometimes they are just noise. Sometimes I just have to scream until the noise goes away. My own screaming doesn’t count as noise inside my head, maybe because I know it’s something I control. I don’t know what it is that makes me be like that, I just am because I am.Sometimes my brother yells at me, “Shut up. Shut the fuck up! Bitch.” I just scream longer and louder. I am not ‘Bitch’, I am Susan. It is worse if he wraps his arms around me and holds me down. That just makes me keep screaming, louder and longer. I try to scratch or hit or push him away. I kick and buck and twist. But Thomas is strong, almost as strong as Dad. But Dad doesn’t hold me like that unless I am breaking things or hurting myself. Thomas can be mean.This morning my head was exploding with voices. That happens a lot. I don’t remember now what the voices were saying. It.
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