"Some people are born the wrong gender,and Nikki just happens to be one of those people. Now YOU can eitheraccept it, or we'll go home and spend Christmas by ourselves." But- but it's not healthy," grandma pleads."Nikki's been happier and healthier than she's been in years," mum sayssmugly. "She's doing well at college, she has a group of friends whocare deeply about her, she's even more physically fit than she was 12months ago." She doesn't look happier," granddad snorts."That's because her grandparents are standing in judgement over her onChristmas Day," dad retorts. "Also, 'she' doesn't look happier?" Oh, um," granddad blurts, backtracking at having been caught out.Seeing that her argument is falling apart, grandma comes up to me andspeaks to me, face-to-face."Nick," grandma says softly."Nikki," I whisper."N-Nikki," grandma stutters. "Is- is this what you really want? I needyou to tell me honestly. Are you being forced to do this?" Of course not," I sniffle, blinking tears out of. “Don’t hold shit back from Dad. He’s Dad. She’s Mom.”“I’m whatever you need, Brian.” She promised.“Don’t hold what back?” Larry scowled. “There’s not actually two Brians is there?”“Thoughts are like ruts. You keep going down the same path and it’s easy to get your wheel stuck, to follow along.” I said.“So those good ruts are there? Yet if she keeps this bimbo shit up, by the time I have my Livvie back, she’ll fall into fawning sycophant over and over again?” Dad understood. “What can you do for her now?”I needed a scalpel and meticulous patience. I had used a sledgehammer and a temper. “It was his temper but my inability to give up anything.”I turned on my stool. I could see the heights of the roller coaster, behind the fuck rooms, up the hill and over the trees. “It was your temper. You don’t get to offload your bad thoughts onto someone else’s shoulders. You have to own your brain, and every thought that comes out of it.”“Thanks, Lar.” I said. The girls were gathered around,.
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