But what do you want from me? I was two months shy of my nineteenth birthday, and up to that point the farthest I had ever traveled had been two hours away by car, to see fucking Motorhead play when I was seventeen. I’m being completely honest when I say, I had zero fucking clue what I was doing, and this was just where I wound up, and be honest with yourself, at the same age, do you think YOU would have done any better?Okay ... So again, I think I need to explain something, just so you get the fact that I’m not completely full of shit. Even though I had been fucking my mom for nearly three years, I wasn’t a total piece of shit. She knew I wasn’t up to anything good whenever I left the house, she knew the money I brought back with me wasn’t honestly gained. But it didn’t stop her from taking the cash to pay the electric bill, or buy groceries, or shit, even to buy the coke I know she used way too much, or the booze we both drank way too often. I say this because, it taught me a. She’s spitting chips while she curses the travel agent up, down, forwards, backwards, and sideways. A small circle forms around her to admire her command of the English language and her show of how to use it to abuse someone without being very rude by using a lot of swear words.When she slows down I say, “I used to think I knew how to abuse people, thanks for the lesson on how to do it properly.” She blushes, and I continue, “Let’s go to my hotel to see what they have there.” She sees the merit in going to the hotel, so we go to the limo.Melody is beside herself because she’s being driving around in a limo. At least someone is really enjoying the trip, regardless of the problems. Arriving at one of the better four and a half star hotels I book in and I explain Miranda’s dilemma. The desk staff explain they’ve already called around everyone for others, and there’s nothing to be had within one hundred and fifty kilometres of the hotel.Looking up at me the supervisor asks, “Sir, how.
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