I'd finished haunting the various departments on my to-do list and was on my way home, going thru the lobby, past the metal detectors and security personnel. I started getting a serious itch at the back of my mind, as if there were something I was supposed to be paying attention to, but couldn't quite see.Standing there in line, waiting for my turn to be scanned and have my briefcase searched, I took the opportunity to look around. The itch grew increasingly irritating and I began to become seriously annoyed. It was like having the eyes of the entire world focused on me but not seeing a single soul anywhere around. Little stabbing prickles darted all over the surface of my hands and face. Minute sensations of envy, distrust, loathing, fear, jealousy, desire, disgust, hatred along with a dozen others nipped and tormented me.I started feeling claustrophobic and more than a little paranoid.I twisted around, looking in every conceivable direction; over the heads of the lines of people in. If possible I could send a place and time. I could meet him said it would make it easier for him to grab me. Then I read the words I expected, well needed him to write. He tells me that if I send the information he will kidnap, rape and kill me even if I change my mind later. Also he wanted me to send him a picture so he'd be sure to get the right person. I send him the information then write that judging from Traci's story I should lay down some ground rules. First I tell him I want him to amputate both my arm as closely as possible to my shoulders. I want the stumps to be no more than bumps and my legs as close as possible to my hips. I want to be left helpless, unable to stop anyone from doing anything to me, and be unable to do anything at all for myself. I say I don't want anything done to me that would be painful, but as I'll be totally helpless it would be up to him alone to adhere to the no pain rule. When he gets tired of me I want him to throw me in the swimming pool (I.
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