I knew if I looked into his eyes I'd start crying again. I wondered if I'd made a mistake, but recognized it was too late to do anything about it."Look, Steven, there's a reason we can't be together. I don't even know how to start to explain it to you. I do love you," and my voice cracked, just slightly, as I admitted it again, "but I can't be with you. I want you to make love to me. You'll understand after, I promise. I need you to trust me, just for a little while."I steeled myself and met his gaze, his eyes searching my face. The frown and deep creases in his forehead remained. I almost started to cry again, but I managed to blink the tears away and hold my gaze steadily on his eyes.He studied me silently for several minutes, my hands relaxed inside his. I could almost see the wheels turning. I wondered what he was thinking, but knew better than to ask. I stayed quiet.Finally he appeared to come to a decision; I was suddenly terrified. 'What if he says no? What if he doesn't want. Gooding. I spent the night in the Gooding's spare room and left the next day on my journey around the county.My next stop was in the town of Himmel where I planned to meet John Manning. I was checking into the hotel when I heard a tremendous crash of gunfire from the attached saloon. I grabbed up my shotgun and ran to see what was going on.I carefully stuck my head through the connecting door just far enough to see what was going on. A middle-aged woman was standing next to the bar with a shotgun in one hand and a small ax in the other. She was ranting about "demon rum" and the sin of drinking alcohol. All of the patrons were cowering behind upset tables, not daring to poke much more than their eyes past that dubious protection. The mirror behind the bar was shattered and the bartender was hunkered down behind the bar. A man was lying on the floor near the woman with blood flowing from a gash on the top of his head.While I watched, a man walked in the front door an up close to the.
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