She was shy, unlike my outgoing personality. She was a genius, unlike me with my solid ‘D’ average. She had never dated while I lived at home, when I had a different girlfriend every couple of weeks. And she was the epitome of nerd, wearing her hair in pigtails, wearing out-of-fashion glasses and always carrying a book. She also always wore long skirts and dressed as if she had just been time-warped from 1955. To make matters even worse, she had been wearing braces for the past three years. Anyway, when I returned from overseas, Lilly had just begun college. It was just one week into the term and I imagined she would already be deep into Advanced Calculus for fun. The night that changed everything started like so many other uneventful nights. I had a date with a chick I had met a week earlier. I figured we would eat, catch a flick and then fuck. Meatloaf sings two out of three ain't bad, but it sure is when the one I don't get is laid. As fate would have it, I got a call from a. Debbie, of course, was the lead bangee. I think she went down on half the boys in The Program last year.Oh shit.The Program.My parents had signed me up for it this year, after a very persuasive conference with the new algebra teacher. The Program was this crackpot scheme wherein the school made you go to school stark naked for a week. It was supposed to be some sort of hands on sex-ed thing, but in practice it was an opportunity for the popular kids to get laid in class, and for the unpopular kids to demonstrate for the whole world their inability to do so. Naturally, I was less than excited about it.I made my way downstairs, poured myself a bowl of cereal, and tried not to roll my eyes at Mom's chirpy predictions that this would be "the best year yet." I walked to the bus stop. The other kids at the stop huddled together while I stood off to one side. When the bus pulled up, I sat down next to Rodney Harmon, who had just gotten the latest issue of 'Ultimate Spider Man.' Leafing.
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