"How has this terrible past been recalled?" cried Villefort; "how is it that it has escaped from the depths of the tomb and the recesses of our hearts, where it was buried, to visit us now, like a phantom, whitening our cheeks and flushing our brows with shame?" Alas," said Hermine, "doubtless it is chance." Chance?" replied Villefort; "No, no, madame, there is no such thing as chance." Oh, yes; has not a fatal chance revealed all this? Was it not by chance the Count of Monte Cristo bought that house? Was it not by chance he caused the earth to be dug up? Is it not by chance that the unfortunate child was disinterred under the trees?--that poor innocent offspring of mine, which I never even kissed, but for whom I wept many, many tears. Ah, my heart clung to the count when he mentioned the dear spoil found beneath the flowers." Well, no, madame, --this is the terrible news I have to tell you," said Villefort in a hollow voice--"no, nothing was found beneath the flowers; there was no. " We make the same mistakes over and over again, as if the presence of a soft, dangly organ between my legs negates the ability for me to process new information. They joke, all the girls do, that "men never learn."And indeed, when you hear of tales about Simon, it's understandable why some women think like that. He was a drinking buddy of mine and as we used the shortcut through the woods he would always need a pee at the same place; by the oak at the side of the path, looking out over the fields with his head resting on the branch of the tree while his bladder was drained. It was his routine.Until the farmer erected a new fence. A new electric fence. His howls echoed around the valley, his tortured cry as dozens of volts shot up his piss and fried his cock. He cried, begging for it to stop, his hands trembled as his stomach convulsed to bring several pints of England's finest ale onto the woodland floor.He should have learnt his lesson. Two weeks later, what the silly drunk bugger.
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