So the cut was just a little off ... and the color ... eww.“I insist you sell me that car,” he said. He pointed at the Escort.“Not for sale.”“Do you have any idea who I am?”“Well ... you’re neither Tidewater nor Cocaine ... I know all of those guys,” I said.“I could buy and sell you,” he said.“You have millions?”“I don’t need millions for the likes of you,” he said.“Get out of my garage,” I said.“You can’t order me out ... this belongs to the racetrack.” A very smug look came over his face. “I am a stockholder.”“Evidently, you’ve never read my lease,” I said. I fished out my phone and called Security. “Alan. I have an offensive trespasser I want removed from my garage.“Yeah ... I can ... it’s in my lease.”I disconnected.“Security is on the way,” I said and turned my back on the idiot. He laid hands on me.Serious mistake.“Don’t turn your back on me,” he said. “I’m not through with you.”He had a bodyguard ... fat lot of good that did. Instead of one perpetrator there were two ... and. Up to 3 again. Home again home again jiggety jig. Down thehallway past the Fogeys, the Architect, the Yuppies, to 3F. Home. Yippee.Skreeeeeek open and then bounce-the-door-off-the-wall-behind-it BONK. "Todd? Is that you?" NO! I AM THE DREAD LORD! BOW BEFORE MEAWWWWRRRRRRGGGGHWAAA! "Yeah, Mom, it's me." "Did you take down thegarbage, Honey?" FEAR ME, PUNY MORTAL! "Yeah, Mom." "Did you rememberto take that coffee filter out of Mister Coffee like I asked?" Aw shit. Keep walking. Didn't hear it didn't hear it didn't... "Oh, TODD! Sometimes you make me so...is it so HARD to do what I ask youonce in a while? Do we REALLY ask SO much from you that you can't just doone little thing the way I ask you?" "Sorry, Mom." Big mom-esquetheatrical sigh, with the promise of more to come. Quick--into theBatcave, Batman! Form of a gazelle! Shape of an ice cube! "Todd? TODD? Are you--" SLAM. Hah! Into the Sanctum Sanctorum, where nothing shallpenetrate my mystical wards! Todd.
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