I was the conciliator, the one who walked in to those rows up at the Hall and poured the oil, smoothed the waters, the one who had been on both sides of the prison wall, who knew how it felt to be wronged, raped and humiliated by faceless authority, victimised by petty, stupid representatives of that authority. I had survived, and my job was to help others to survive, but how could I deal with this? The lover of my past was slowly killing the lover of my present.I gritted my teeth, slowed my breathing, and risked a darting split-second peek into the shed. I was glad and sick at what I saw. Glad because Sarah had her back towards me, sick because Margaret was suspended, naked, red whip-marks striping her white skin, one across the slight curve of her four and a half months pregnant belly, within which dwelled our future.I closed my eyes and still saw the image. Sarah from behind was not at all as I remembered her. Now she was almost square, a huge block of woman, fat or muscle, it. Then things started happening fast. The morning sickness was the first change to hit me. Going to work was becoming less fun every day. As the days and weeks wore on, it seemed like a new issue hit me almost daily. I knew that wasn’t true, but sometimes it sure seemed like it. Through it all I never lost my sex drive, or at least I never fully lost it. The doc told me I could do whatever was comfortable, so I did. Greg and I found comfortable ways to ensure we both were at least as fulfilled as before my new condition.Then in my eighth month something really interesting happened—I began to leak, my boobs that is. I woke one morning and the tee-shirt that I had been sleeping in had two big wet spots on the front, plastering the shirt to my boobs—the boobs that had been C-cups and were now D pushing DD-cups. It looked like a mini wet-tee-shirt contest.We knew this might happen. It is not uncommon, especially as you get closer to delivery. It was Greg’s initial comment that made me think.
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