??I was a child again, and that scared me.??What had Idone???Why had I given up being an adult???I would have no freedoms.???Iput up a hand to push some hair behind my shoulder, and when I saw it Iput it out in front of me and then reached out the mirror which Icouldn't touch from there.??My hand was so fragile, so pure, sovulnerable and that I began to cry and hyperventilate.??My cries soundedlike that of a small boy lost and separate from his parents.??I just feltmy still seemingly too large chest heaving when I heard Dr. Sandstrom'svoice, at normal speed in my dream, say "Say your new name.??Repeat itover and over again.??Say your new name.??Repeat it over and over again."I realized there was a tiny speaker over the one-way mirror and that'swhere he was probably watching.??I couldn't remember my name, and there was pain inside my head again.There was so much muddled in my head, and there was pressure on my skullagain.??I struggled through my names and who wanted what name, and it. "What do we do now?" Jules asked, and it killed me to hear how lost she sounded when she'd said it."C'mon, let's get a drink and talk while he's playing."We walked to the bar without drawing his attention. Jules passed our room key to the bartender. "Vodka Shot. Neat," she said, glancing again at John playing the piano. "Make it a double."The bartender looked at me with raised eyebrows. "I'd like a hot tea, something black and strong if you have it."Sitting with our backs to the bar, we leaned against our elbows and watched him play. The bartender brought our drinks and Jules sipped half her shot in one go.She couldn't seem to take her eyes off of him. "He's really good." Yes." I sipped my tea and watched both of them. "He's a good man, too, but I want you to meet him and see for yourself. Please, keep an open mind. You know you could ruin this for me with a word to him."She frowned, but kept looking at him. "I wouldn't do that to you." Just give me a little time. That's all I.
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