Next thing I know, I'm on the ground in the middle of the road. People around me are calling the cops, one guy is pumping my chest in an attempt to give me CPR (thank goodness he didn't do the mouth part), and seconds later everything goes dark.When the light comes back to my eyes, my first thought was "wow, heaven is even more boring than my actual life." Looking around, all I see is white. Above, below, behind, and in front of me, nothing but white. Then, in an instant, there's a man in front of me. He was fairly plain looking. He looked to be in his mid-thirties with some grey specs in his black hair. He is about 6 foot, and well built. He is wearing a black suit with a white tie and is looking at me with a very exasperated expression."So...I fucked up." The man said. "Before you start freaking out asking who I am, where you are, and what the hell just happened, let me explain. I am God -- and despite what everyone on Earth believes, I make mistakes, granted I haven't made one in. Just me, a couple cars, and the assjuice smell wafting from the bathroom. I walked out and continued to investigate. Then I realized that the trooper either: a) forgot about me, or b) was fucking with me. What a douche.I decided it would be a nice time to light a cig. I traveled behind the restrooms toward a small picnic area. I found a small wooden bench and sat down, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Then I realized that this was the only place around where I could not hear the highway. So I figured I'd chill for a bit.I was almost finished my cigarette when I heard rustling from beside me. I turned with a start, and a dark figure came into view. My eyes focused, and I recognized it as the Jacker. Fuck. There he was, doing his thing, not ten feet from me. Like a train wreck, it was nothing I wanted to see, but I couldn't help but watch. His plaid shirt was completely unbuttoned, and his jeans were around his knees. He must have been a construction worker, because he.
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